Games On Tap
by beauxity
Summary: Edward has just moved back to Seattle to escape his psycho ex. Bella is snarky and spends too much talking to her cat and herself. Can they work to open Edward's new business, and maybe start a new life together? AU/AH, ExB, canon couples, M for lemons and adult language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for taking the time to read my very first attempt at writing FF. Hope you enjoy, and see you on the flip side!**

****Disclaimer: I own nothing. All references, names, etc. belong to their proper owners.****

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><p>Chapter 1 - BPOV<p>

I sat with my legs propped up on the couch, blanket tightly wrapped around my legs and completely covering my feet, laptop warming my stomach. My cat, Ollie, had wedged himself awkwardly between my hip and the back of the couch after I had shoved him off the keyboard about 20 minutes ago. I could feel the rumble against my thigh as he snored softly. I picked up the glass beside me and took a small sip, feeling the room temperature Shiraz slide down the back of my throat.

I wasn't sure when it had happened, but at some point sitting in my living room alone, reading fan fiction with a bottle of wine, had become my favourite way to spend a Friday night...and all day Saturday and Sunday if I could manage it. My last three weekends had been completely taken up with various events, birthday parties and work, so I had begged my friends to allow me my tiny bit of solitude this weekend. It had unfortunately required some bribery on my part, and I now owed Alice a spa day and extra trip to the bridal store to try on bridesmaid dresses. Not my idea of a good time. I had made her promise to have mimosas for breakfast whenever we ended up going. Getting a buzz before lunch made that shit only slightly bearable.

Ollie twitched in his sleep, scaring himself awake before jumping up and madly dashing into the bedroom. He was cute, but he wasn't very bright. I snickered to myself and shifted on the cushions, enjoying finally being able to fully straighten my legs. I turned back to the laptop screen and realized I was completely bored with this story. I had stopped really paying attention about two chapters ago, and I had re-read this paragraph three times. I still had no idea what it said. Maybe it was time to switch back to actual literature. It wasn't like I could admit to anyone that I read these online stories anyway. My general response when anyone asked what I was currently reading was "nothing of any redeeming social value". It was easier than explaining the vampire smut to which I had developed a somewhat unhealthy addiction.

Sighing, I closed the tab in my browser and switched my playlist to a mellow indie rock mix. I leaned back and downed the last of my wine, closing my eyes as the soothing, repetitive beat and lilting guitar riff settled around me.

I jolted awake a few hours later, legs tingling from lack of circulation, Ollie staring at me from the arm of the couch. It was a good thing I had finished my wine before falling asleep because the glass was now laying sideways, rolling slightly on my keyboard every time I inhaled. With a groan, I shut my laptop and slowly sat up. I could tell this was probably not going to be great for my back tomorrow. Ollie looked at me, unblinking, his eyes judging me silently. "Don't look at me like that," I chastised him. "It's not like you look particularly graceful when you sleep." Clearly not agreeing with me, he lifted his leg and began licking himself. "Oh that's attractive," I spat, rolling my eyes.

_You realize you're having a conversation with a cat._

Yes, self, thank you for pointing out the obvious. Ollie and I often had chats. And they frequently ended with him licking himself, come to think of it.

_Well, how else do you expect him to respond?_

I don't know, maybe a little head butt? Or a meow? That didn't seem unreasonable.

_Yes, because the cat can clearly understand the concept of a reciprocal conversation._

Well, it's not like he has to know what I'm saying. Couldn't he just show me some affection anyway? I mean I'm the one who feeds him every day and cleans his damn litterbox. That alone should warrant some purrs.

_So instead you're having a conversation with the voice inside your head?_

Even my psyche judged me. And she was kind of being a bitch. Yeah, maybe it was time to get out of the house.

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><p>Saturday morning, I rolled over around 9, having finally crawled into bed at 3:30 in the morning. I had been right, my back was aching and I could feel a slight twinge on the right side where I must have pulled a muscle. Luckily I didn't have to be at the gym for another few days. I mean, sure, I probably should go between now and then but I didn't have another appointment with my trainer until Tuesday evening. And quite honestly, I avoided that place like the plague. The only reason I had been going at all for the past three months was because my exuberant best friend, Alice, was getting married in June. And I'll be damned if I was going to stand up there looking anything less than stellar beside her petite 5'1" self and her other model bridesmaid, Rosalie. And I don't mean "model" as in that <em>oh you're so pretty, you should be a model <em>bullshit. She was a legitimate runway model. She'd only recently returned to Seattle, having spent the last two years touring Europe and Australia on various modeling contracts. Now she was home for at least the next two years while she completed her master's degree at the University of Washington. Because she was also a freaking genius.

I glanced over at the picture on my bedside table of the three of us, taken last summer while Rose was home for a few weeks in between jobs. We'd taken a road trip to visit my dad, Charlie, in Forks, a small town a few hours outside Seattle where I had grown up. It was a rare sunny day amidst the seemingly never ending gloom of the Pacific Northwest, and he had somehow convinced us to go out in his little fishing boat.

None of us were particularly outdoorsy, so I still could not figure out how we had ended up out there, with bucket hats and fishing rods, sitting in the middle of the lake. After three hours, and several bottles of beer, Alice had finally gotten a bite. However, in her excitement and slight intoxication she'd yanked the rod out of the water, losing the fish but managing to catch the edge of Rose's hat with the hook. In the confusion, Rose thought Alice had thrown the fish onto her head and started jumping around, screaming to "Get it off!" Of course, this only resulted in her falling into the lake, dragging Alice and me with her. Charlie took the photo once we made it back to shore, dripping wet, Alice's short stature and pixie haircut making her look like a child standing between Rose and me. But she was proudly holding the hat on the hook, our only catch of the day.

I shoved myself out of bed. As soon as my feet hit the hardwood, Ollie was weaving around my feet, meowing to be picked up. "Sure, now you want some attention," I grumbled, throwing him over my shoulder and walking to the kitchen. I pet him a few times and set him back on the floor, pouring some food in his dish and turning on the coffee for myself. While I waited for it to perk, I took a quick shower, not bothering to shave my legs. I threw on a pair of yoga pants, an old Forks Police Department t-shirt I'd stolen from Charlie in high school, and a pair of grey wool socks, forgoing a bra. I wrapped my hair up in a bun and slapped on some moisturizer and Chap Stick. Alice and Rosalie would have a fit if they saw me like this, but I really wasn't planning to leave the house.

I grabbed a ridiculously large mug of black coffee and hummed as I inhaled the scent. I swear if they could inject it, I would take coffee intravenously. I was barely even able to function without caffeine in my system, and unfortunate remnant of the frequent all-nighters I pulled in university.

I brought my mug to the couch, and settled back into my spot from last night. Ollie was settled beside me by the time I loaded Firefox.

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><p>An hour later, I was restless. I still couldn't get into any of the stories on my usual fan fiction websites.<p>

_Maybe because you've spent about a million hours on here in the past and literally have no other good stories left to read._

Shut up, self. It's not my fault I'm the only person who still reads this crap. No one has added anything worth reading in months!

I shut my laptop forcefully and walked to my over flowing bookshelf. I really didn't want to do anything besides curl up with my glass of wine and something to read. I had been looking forward to this all week, and was growing increasingly frustrated that my plans were continually put on hold due to a disturbing lack of decent reading material. I scanned the titles and my eyes flashed to a few stand-bys. I had read _Outlander_ about three times in the last year, and as much as I loved me some tall, redheaded Scottish highlanders, I wasn't in the mood. Same with _Pride and Prejudice_, despite Darcy being my first true love. I had a few other classics I'd picked up over the years without having actually gotten to, but I didn't think I could handle Jack Kerouac's teenage angst, or the time commitment it would take to get through _The Count of Monte Cristo_. Anything over 1000 pages was really only appropriate to take on a long vacation, consisting of nothing but sitting on a beach sipping Pina Coladas.

I sighed, resigned, and realized I would need to make a trip to the book store. Normally I would have been thrilled with the prospect of sifting through shelves of novels for a Saturday morning, but my favourite bookstore had closed earlier in the year, replaced with yet another Chapters. I supposed it would give me the opportunity to grab some Starbucks, though.

Quickly glancing down, I decided it would be a short trip so I didn't bother changing or putting on a bra, simply throwing on a zip up hoodie over my baggy t-shirt, and slipping my feet into my worn out Toms.

The October air was cool, and leaves blew around me in the fall air. I jogged to my truck to stay warm and quickly drove over to the store, luckily finding a parking spot not too far from the door. I locked my old, beat up Chevy, realizing that no one in their right mind would ever try to steal the monstrosity, and headed inside.

The heat hit me first, followed by the elevator music and fluorescent lighting. These chain stores had zero personality. I frowned slightly, remembering the warm, dark atmosphere of The Flying Dragon, where I had previously spent more of my salary on literature than was likely prudent. It had been intimate and nostalgic of a time when one could pull out a typewriter and glass of bourbon to write the next great American novel.

My eyes flicked between the enormous genre titles on the walls around the store. Nonfiction...nope, not today. Self-help...ugh, kill me. Magazines...maybe before I leave. Alice would probably expect me to have memorized the latest bridal magazines before our next dress fitting appointment. Fiction...that's the one. I walked up the few steps to the raised section, already starting to feel beads of sweat running down the small of my back. I couldn't for the life of me understand why they insisted on keeping these stores so fucking hot. It wasn't as if anyone really wanted to take a sauna while perusing the latest Stephen King novel.

_Unless there was a really specific fan club you're not aware of..._

That was slightly disturbing. My psyche was getting a bit perverted. Definitely avoiding the erotica and horror genres today.

I fanned myself lightly as I walked the shelves, attempting to cool down. I really didn't want to take off my hoodie, given the current unrestrained state of my chest. I glanced over at the new release section. Vampires, zombies, cowboys. Real Pulitzer Prize winning stuff there. Not that there was anything wrong with those kind of books, I mean I read vampire fan fiction for crying out loud. I was the last person who could judge. But I wanted something a bit more intellectually stimulating.

I continued strolling through the stacks, grabbing anything that caught my eye. But mainly I was focusing on the fact that I was about to pass out from heat exhaustion. I could feel the flush rising up my chest and neck. I couldn't take it anymore. I glanced around covertly, making sure no one was looking, and unzipped my hoodie, quickly pealing it off my arms and pulling it against my chest, crossing my arms.

_*snort* Real subtle... _

Shut up, self!

Feeling slightly more comfortable, I rounded the corner to the next aisle and noticed one of my favourite authors on the bottom shelf. And more importantly, she had a new book out. I smiled, bending over to pick it up...and immediately felt my back seize up. Between my warm shower and the heat in the store, I had forgotten about the twinge from sleeping on the couch, but apparently my muscles hadn't. I glanced around, slightly desperate, realizing I was standing in the middle of an aisle, bent over with my ass sticking up in the air for anyone to walk by. And worse than that, I realized I was going to need to use both my hands to pull myself upright using the shelves.

I shut my eyes with a groan, silently praying no one walked down the aisle in the next thirty seconds until I got myself sorted out. I reached out to grab the shelf with both hands, opening my eyes as I looked between my legs, only to see a pair of black boots turn into the aisle.

_Big feet..._

And then my vision was obscured as my t-shirt flopped down over my eyes, exposing my tits to the whole Fiction section.

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><p><strong>Whew, thanks for making it to the end! I don't have a Beta yet, but I'm working on it, so this may be edited sooner or later. I'm going to post the four chapters that are written so far, so please keep reading. If you enjoyed the story, please R&amp;R!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for coming back for more!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All references, names, etc. belong to their proper owners.**

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><p>Chapter 2 - BPOV<p>

I wasn't quite sure how to react in this situation. I didn't remember my mother ever providing me with words of wisdom regarding accidentally flashing people in public.

_A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush._

How is that in any way related to what is happening right now?

_Idle hands are the devil's work._

Really not helping. And I don't think that's even how the saying goes.

_Always wear clean underwear?_

Yeah, that would have been helpful before I left the house sans said underwear.

I could feel the blood rushing to my head the longer I hung upside down and if I didn't stand up soon, I was probably going to pass out. Not to mention the fact that my hamstrings were screaming. This is what I got for not going to the gym. My sadistic trainer would be thrilled. I reached one hand around to my front, using the other to hold on to the shelf to avoid falling over, and pushed my shirt up, out of my eyes, covering as much of my chest as I could. The boots were still standing there, pointing straight at me.

I cleared my throat, attempting to regain at least a semblance of my long forgotten dignity. "Umm, if you're not too busy staring, could I get a little help? I'm kind of stuck."

"Oh shit, sorry!" the boots stuttered quickly, walking toward me. I still couldn't tell who was in them, but I suddenly saw two large hands coming towards my shirt. I assumed he was going to attempt to cover me up, so I let go of the edge of my shirt and waited for him to grab it. Instead I felt the hands wrap around my rib cage, grazing the bottom of my once again bare breasts with his thumbs.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I yelled, startled at being groped by a stranger in the middle of the Fiction section of Chapters.

"Shit, fuck, sorry!" the boots said again, immediately letting go.

"Well don't stop now, at least help me stand up!"

"Sure, uh, just...you...hold your shirt." I huffed and grabbed the edge of my shirt again, pulling it over my breasts, and felt him tentatively push my shoulders upright again.

By the time I was upright my back was screaming at me, and I squeezed my eyes shut and bit down on my bottom lip against the pain. I heard a deep, rumbling chuckle and a breath of warm air blew across my face.

I felt my back relax minutely and slowly opened one eye, unsure if I wanted to smack this guy or thank him for rescuing me. I don't know what I was expecting, but the Batman symbol staring back at me from his chest was not it. My other eye popped open in surprise as my eyes slowly made their way up his chest, neck, chin, to his green eyes. He had reached one of his hands up and was currently running it awkwardly over his head.

I felt my mouth drop open at the sight of what could only be described as epic sex hair. It was about 47 different shades of brown, slightly long, messy as all hell and I wanted to build a nest in it for the winter. "Fuck me."

"Umm, excuse me?" One of his eyebrows shot up in surprise as a half grin broke out on his face. He had really nice teeth. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Uh, sorry, I mean, thanks! That was only slightly awkward."

He laughed again and dropped his arm back down to his side at my ridiculous understatement. His eyes glinted with amusement. Damn, this guy was hot. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad about being borderline felt up next to Charlotte Bronte and Dan Brown.

"I'm Bella, by the way. Since you've seen my tits, you should probably know my name," I said, smirking.

"Edward," he returned the smirk, shaking my hand. "Well, Bella, I must say, this was a little more action than I was expecting before noon on a Saturday. Not that I'm complaining. Nothing goes better with coffee and historical fiction than full frontal nudity. It's just that I usually buy a girl a drink before she starts taking off her clothes."

I threw my head back, laughing, and felt my back start to seize up again. My face fell into a scowl, and I clutched my right side. Edward suddenly looked concerned and lifted up my shirt to start poking at the muscles.

"Uh, what are you, some kind of doctor or something?" I asked, confused at to what exactly he thought he was going to do. He immediately stilled his hands, and pulled away slowly, looking chagrined.

"Sorry, force of habit. My dad is a doctor and my brother injures himself a lot, so I've seen my share of pulled muscles. You should probably go home a take a bath and rest your back."

I winced at the thought of climbing into my tank of a truck. "I'm not actually sure how I'm going to get home..."

"I could drive you!" he said quickly, interrupting my train of thought. I could see the surprise on his face as he said it, almost as if he hadn't expected the words to come out of his mouth.

"Uhh, sure? Why not. I mean you've already gotten to second base, I guess it's only fair that you drive me home now."

His whole body relaxed as soon as I accepted. "Great. I was going to grab a coffee first, can I get you something? I do owe you that drink," he said with a wink, the smirk returning. "Then we can head out, I can bring the car around."

"Sure, sounds good. Grande, non-fat, sugar-free, extra hot pumpkin spice latte with no whip, please."

Edward stared blankly at me. I was pretty sure I'd said that in English, but the way he was looking it may as well have been in Klingon or some shit.

"I have no clue what the hell you just said," he admitted, shaking his head slightly.

I huffed and rolled my eyes. I didn't understand why people would buy coffee at Starbucks if they didn't even know how to order the stuff. "Look, why don't I just come with you. It'll be easier than writing it down and we have to pass the counter to get out of the store anyway."

Edward shrugged slightly and moved beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist to help support me and I shuffled stiffly forward. I could feel the heat from his body through my thin t-shirt as he pressed himself against the entire length of me.

"If you don't mind me asking, what the hell did you do to yourself?" he asked.

"I was trying the Bend and Snap, but forgot what I was doing halfway through," I said sarcastically. He turned his head and gave me a confused look. Clearly Edward was not familiar with Legally Blonde.

I chuckled. "Honestly, I just slept funny and I guess my back freaked the fuck out when I went to get a book on the bottom shelf. I really wasn't expecting it to be quite so melty in here and I apparently didn't dress appropriately, so..." I trailed off.

He nodded silently, and lifted me with one arm down the steps to the main level of the store. It fucking hurt, and the coffee counter seemed like miles away. Suddenly I wasn't so desperate for caffeine.

"Listen, Edward, I appreciate the offer, but I really don't think I can walk all the way over there." He looked down at me again, clearly seeing the pain all over my face. He stopped us and let go of my waist, glancing around the store quickly.

"Do you think you can sit?" he asked, pointing toward a chair at one of the computer kiosks.

"No idea, but I can certainly try."

He walked over to the chair, leaning to pick it before realizing it was on wheels. He lifted his head to look back at me, his eyes full of mischief, and started wheeling the chair toward me. I had no idea what he was thinking, but from the look on his face I was fairly certain it wouldn't be in line with Chapters company policy.

When he reached me, I sat down cautiously in the chair. "You okay?" he asked quietly. I nodded because it really didn't feel too bad. He leaned over, his mouth right next to my ear. "Then hold on."

Suddenly we were flying down the aisle. I could hear Edward chuckling behind me and I laughed loudly as we zoomed across the floor, my hands in a death grip on the arms of the chair. I could see some disapproving looks from the other shoppers as we flew around corners, but I really didn't give a shit. I guess there was one good thing about big book stores. The Flying Dragon never would have had the room for this.

Our laughter died down as we neared the Starbucks counter and I saw the manager approaching in my peripheral vision. "I think we're about to get banned from this book store," I whispered to Edward out of the corner of my mouth. His head turned to see the approaching staff, and turned back to me, the glint back in his eye.

"Do you trust me?"

"Uh, sure?" I replied, not quite positive about that yet.

"Oh, Bella, you really shouldn't have said that." He gave me a crooked smile that lit up his eyes and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

And then we were off again, this time racing toward the front door. Edward timed it to get there just as an unsuspecting customer was coming into the store. "Hold the door!" he shouted as we raced forward. The poor shopper stared at us flying toward him with a look of absolute terror, but held the big glass door open and we sailed through into the parking lot.

I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore. "Jesus, Edward, I didn't plan to add shop lifting to my rap sheet today! I could already get busted for indecent exposure!"

He was laughing behind me, as he kept pushing me toward a silver Volvo. When we reached the passenger door, he unlocked it quickly, scooping me up and placing me gingerly inside. "Wait!" I yelled as he started to shut the door. "Do you have paper and a pen?" He dug around in his glove box and brought both out. I quickly scribbled a note and handed it to him.

He laughed loudly and placed it on the chair before getting into the car and pealing out of the parking lot.

I would have loved to see the manager's face as his read our glowing product review of the "Incredible Flying Roller Chair Escape Pod – fun for the whole family!" I gave it 4 out of 5 stars because really, something like that should probably have seat belts.

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><p><strong>Reviews get 5 out of 5 stars!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: First chapters from Edward's point of view. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters, names, etc. belong to their owners.**

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><p>Chapter 3 - EPOV<p>

I looked over at the girl sitting next to me as was drove down the streets of Seattle and wondered how exactly my quiet Saturday had turned into this insanity. I had gone to the bookstore out of boredom and sheer desperation earlier this morning, needing to escape the small apartment I was currently sharing with my brother and hoping to kill a few hours before my meeting later this afternoon. I had certainly not been expecting the peep show and great escape that had followed.

"Turn left here," Bella instructed, pointing to the next street. "My place is the second last one on the right." I pulled my Volvo into the empty driveway and put it in park. I sighed, suddenly nervous, and ran my hand through my hair, knowing it was probably sticking up everywhere as usual. Stupid unruly mop. I desperately needed a haircut, but that was not happening any time soon. The very idea made me slightly nauseous.

Bella unclicked her seatbelt and reached over to the door. "Thanks for your help, Edward. Really, that was more fun than I've had in ages. Even if I will never be allowed in that place again." She smiled at me softly. For some reason, I couldn't think of anything to say, so I nodded awkwardly, not moving out of my seat, hands still wrapped around the steering wheel. I really didn't want to let this girl get out of my car. Something about her just made me feel comfortable, like I could be myself for a change and she wouldn't judge me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of her swearing as she started to push herself out of the seat. "Shit, hold on, let me help you," I jumped out of the car and ran around to her side, yanking open the passenger door before she did even more damage to herself. She met my eyes sheepishly as I bent down to lift her out of the car.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for you to have to freaking carry me home," she said apologetically.

"Believe me, this is much more enjoyable than what I had planned for the day," I admitted truthfully. "I'll help you inside." I wrapped my arm around her again, closing and locking the car, and pulled her toward the steps leading up to the front door. I could tell she'd never be able to climb the four steps to her townhouse, so I picked her up lightly, careful not to jar her back, and carried her to the door.

"Jesus, Edward, don't throw your back out too, or we'll both be screwed!"

I laughed loudly. She wasn't exactly heavy. "I think I'll be okay," I replied, rolling my eyes.

Bella reached into her hoodie pocket and pulled out her keys. She quickly unlocked her door, glancing at me nervously. "Uh, I wasn't really planning on having people over this weekend, so please ignore the mess. Oh, and I hope you're not allergic to cats."

Clearly this girl had never met my brother. Living with him was like being back in the guys' dorm in college. Dirty dishes and laundry were my constant companions. And for some reason the guy owned more hair product than any girl I'd ever met. Our shared bathroom frequently looked as if a Rexall had exploded inside. "Really, don't worry about it. And I love cats." I smiled at her and she relaxed as she walked through the entryway into the townhouse.

Bella's home was cozy and inviting. Her entry way had a small bench and I could see black and white photos lining the hallway next to the staircase.

"Make yourself at home. I'd offer to take your coat, but I don't think I can reach the hook at the moment, so I'm afraid you're on your own," she said, gesturing toward the coat stand in the corner.

I let my pea coat slide off my shoulders and tossed it onto one of the empty hooks. Bella kicked off her shoes, so I did the same, and followed her into the house in my sock feet, silently thanking myself for putting on socks without holes in them this morning.

I looked around as she led me through the house. The frames in the hallway were filled with artistic photos, some of Bella smiling and laughing, some of her with an older man with a 70s porn 'stache I assumed was her father, and several of Bella and two other girls. Everyone seemed so happy and I couldn't help but smile as I looked at them.

"Did you want some coffee or tea?" Bella called from down the hall. I walked toward her voice and found her around the corner in her kitchen. She was attempting to reach into a cupboard but looked like she was in pain with the effort.

I rushed over, putting my hand on her waist to stop her from hurting herself. "Why don't you let me do that. You take a seat," I gestured to the barstools on the opposite side of the island. "You can direct me from there." She grumbled quietly, but shuffled over and awkwardly sat down.

I pulled down two mugs, chuckling at the sayings on them. The first one was black and read "What do we want? COFFEE! When do we want it? I'LL FUCKING CUT YOU!" I got the impression that Bella was a bit of a caffeine addict. And she had a dirty mouth. I checked the pot of coffee, realizing it was still hot, and poured her a mug. "How do you take it?" I asked.

"Same way I take my men. Hot, black and strong," she deadpanned.

I stared at her wide eyed, not quite sure how to respond. "Uhh..."

She broke into raucous laughter at my obvious discomfort. "God, Edward, relax. It was a joke. I'll actually take just a tiny bit of milk. Spoons are in the top drawer." I doctored up her coffee and slid it across the counter. I stared at her as she sipped it slowly, hands tucked up in the sleeves of her hoodie to avoid the heat of the mug.

"Aren't you going to have some?" she asked, looking at me quizzically after a few minutes when I hadn't moved. I shook my head, trying to focus and realized I probably looked like a total creeper.

"Uh, yeah, actually do you have any tea?"

"Sure, but you can't use that mug." She pointed to the second mug I'd pulled out of the cupboard. It had a picture of that kid who played Harry Potter and said "Espresso Patronum".

"Why, what's wrong with this one?" I asked, confused. Seemed like a perfectly good mug to me. And I kind of liked those movies.

She rolled her eyes at me. "That's not a tea mug. Get the one with the dinosaur."

I went back to the cupboard and saw what appeared to be a Jurassic Park mug. Looking at it closer, I realized the dinosaur skeleton was holding a teapot and the mug said "TEA-REX". I smiled at her, raising one eyebrow.

"What? So I like my mugs. Sue me," she said a little defensively.

I chuckled and held up both hands in surrender. "Hey, no judgment here! I've always been a fan of Michael Crichton. And pretty much anything with Jeff Goldblum."

She smiled at me over the rim of her mug. "I only have loose leaf tea, hope that's okay. The steeper is in the second drawer."

I opened the drawer, and immediately found a manatee staring back at me amongst a few boxes of tea. I held it up and looked back at Bella. What the hell was this thing supposed to be?

"That's the steeper! You can rest it on the side of your mug so he looks like he's swimming!" She was apparently very excited by this prospect. I was pretty sure this girl was borderline nuts, but I was starting to realize I didn't particularly care. I pulled out a box of earl grey and added some leaves to the little manatee thing, flicking on her kettle that was sitting on the counter.

I leaned against the sink, crossing my arms, waiting for the kettle to boil, and stared a Bella. She was slightly preoccupied with scratching the remnants of some nail polish off her thumb nail and she had her brow slightly furrowed. My eyes raked over her brown hair, which was starting to fall out of the bun on top of her head. She absently blew a strand out of her eyes and then bit her bottom lip between her teeth in concentration. I wasn't sure why, but I found that extremely attractive. My eyes wandered lower, down her delicate neck, to the collar bone that was just visible where her hoodie had slipped down. And then to her breasts, which I now had surprisingly intimate knowledge of. I smiled as I remembered her nipples staring back at me as I'd rounded the aisle at the bookstore.

Bella cleared her throat, and my eyes shot back up to meet hers. She had an eyebrow raised and a knowing smirk on her face. She'd totally caught me staring at her tits. I didn't regret it for a second.

The kettle flicked off just as the alarm on my phone started beeping. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was already 2:30. "Shit! I'm sorry but I've got to run. I'm going to be late!" I hustled back to the front door, throwing on my boots and coat. I turned around to say good bye, realizing she hadn't followed me to the door. I raced back into the kitchen where she still sat at the counter with an amused expression on her face.

"Listen, if I didn't have to go to this meeting, I would absolutely love to have that cup tea. Can I take a rain check?" She smiled and nodded silently, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I grabbed a pen and piece of paper off the counter and quickly scribbled my cell phone number. "Call me," I said with a wink and ran out the front door.

I had an hour to go home, shower, and change before I had to meet my mother at the bank. And I knew better than to piss of Esme Cullen by being late.

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><p>"Honey, I'm home!" I heard Emmett's booming voice as I hurriedly dried off after my three minute shower.<p>

"I'm getting dressed, be out in a minute," I yelled through the door, hoping to avoid him barging into my room while I was naked. It wouldn't be the first time. I threw on some boxers and black socks, buttoning my slate grey dress shirt quickly, hoping I didn't screw up the buttons. I debated forgoing the tie, but I knew my mother wouldn't approve, so I grabbed the black and white one she'd gotten me for Christmas last year, and tied it quickly. I pulled on my black suit pants, did up my belt and grabbed the suit jacket off the hanger, hoping it was still relatively unwrinkled. I fucking hated suits, but I knew I needed to make a good impression today. I wasn't sure what I was going to do if this small business loan didn't get approved. Well, that was a lie. I knew my dad was more than willing to pay the startup costs, but I really wanted to do this on my own.

I flung open my bedroom door and raced to the office to grab my paperwork. I was about to head out the door when I was intercepted by my oaf of a big brother. He wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling his head into my chest while picking me up off the ground.

"Fuck, Emmett, let go! I'm going to be late and mom's going to kill me!" I shrieked in a higher pitch than I would have liked.

"Oh but Eddie, you smell so good!" Emmett joked, refusing to put me down.

I started punching him to get him to let go, but he simply laughed. I wasn't a small guy by any means at 6'2" and 180 pounds, but Emmett was 6'4" and 250 pounds of muscle. There wasn't much I could do that would actually hurt him.

I managed to get one cheap shot at his kidneys and he dropped me like a ton of bricks. "Fuck, Ed, take it easy! I gotta work tomorrow!"

"Then don't be a dick!" I shot him a look as I threw on my dress shoes, knowing I'd likely have blisters by the end of the day. Why I couldn't wear Chucks with a suit, I'd never know. "I'll be back by 6. You still coming for dinner at mom and dad's?"

"Yeah I'll meet you there. Have a good day, sweetheart!" he waved, batting his eyelashes at me.

"You're such an idiot." I rolled my eyes and ran to my car, praying I wouldn't get pulled over as I sped to the bank.

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><p>I held up my glass of wine and clinked glasses with the other three people at the table. I don't think I had stopped smiling since leaving the bank this afternoon.<p>

"I'm really proud of you, son," my dad, Carlisle, said, looking at me across the table. I turned and met my mom's eye. She had the same smile on her face as I did.

"Yeah, our little Eddie is finally growing up!" announced Emmett, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

"Shut up, Emmett," I laughed. Even he couldn't spoil my mood right now. I was finally going to be opening my own shop, after many years of working for asshole bosses. And lucky for me, my mom had agreed to help. She had retired earlier in the year, but had volunteered to use her many years of management experience to get me started.

After the craziness of the past year, I had been more than happy to quit my job in LA and move back to Seattle to start over. As far as I was concerned, I couldn't get far enough away from that place.

"So what's the next step?" my dad asked, taking another sip of his wine.

"Well, I guess I'll have to start looking at properties. There are a few downtown that look promising, but I'm not sure about the cost." I had seen one spot in particular that was pretty much perfect, the location was amazing, but I knew the rent would be astronomical. I briefly had a flash of Bella sitting in the front window, sipping a cup of coffee. Man, I hope she called me. "I have an appointment on Friday to go look at a few with a real estate agent."

"You can't go Friday!" my brother shouted suddenly.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I'm having an open house at the gym, and I need you all to come. We're trying to recruit new members and the more bodies, the more popular it's going to look. Plus Eddie over here can flirt with all the single ladies." He winked at me.

"I'm not going to flirt with the plastic gym rats, Emmett," I said, slightly disgusted. I had tried that once. It didn't go well.

"Oh come on, they're not all like that. This one chick I train is actually pretty awesome! You might like her."

"Yeah, no offense, but there is no way in hell I would trust your choice in women, Em." The plastic gym rats were exactly the kind of chick Emmett went for, and he could keep them.

"Come on, just have one drink and check out the place. You haven't even been to see it since you moved back!" It was true, I'd been trying to avoid Cullen Fitness. Not that I wasn't supportive of Emmett's endeavor, I absolutely was and he'd so far been pretty successful. I just didn't want to have to fend off the advances of over-tanned, bleach blonde chicks. I currently only had a thing for brunettes.

I sighed, resigned. "Fine, one drink, and then I'm out of there."

Emmett grinned and held his hand out for a fist bump. I rolled my eyes and pounded it. He immediately blew it up, with sound effects and started firing finger guns at me. I ignored him and went back to my dinner. There was no way in hell we were going to have a secret handshake, no matter how hard he tried to convince me otherwise.

After dinner, we all stood around the kitchen doing dishes. My mom leaned her head on my shoulder as I dried a plate, setting it in the cupboard.

"I'm so glad you're home, Edward. It wasn't the same when you were away." She looked up at me lovingly. It was true, I had missed everyone terribly while I had been in California.

"I'm glad I'm home, too, mom." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and walked over to pick up my cell phone as I heard it ding. I was hoping it was Bella. I wondered how her back was doing.

I opened the text and stared at it in horror, dropping the phone back onto the counter. I looked up and Emmett met my eyes, knowingly.

"Fuck, call the phone company, Eddie needs another new phone number!"

Not again...

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><p><strong>Reviews are better than hilariously inappropriate coffee mugs!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Back to Bella for this one. Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters, names, etc. belong to their owners.**

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><p>Chapter 4 – BPOV<p>

I resisted calling Edward the rest of the day Saturday. Partially because I didn't want to seem too eager, and partially because I had taken some extra strength pain killers for my back and had fallen asleep at about 5:30. It was probably for the best anyway. If I had called him, I would have insisted he come back over for that rain check and I didn't think my back nor my panties could handle that much excitement currently.

Sunday morning, I met Alice and Rosalie for our standing coffee date. It had taken me slightly longer than usual to get ready, given my still stiff back, and they had already ordered my usual by the time I arrived – grande, non-fat, sugar-free, extra hot pumpkin spice latte with no whip. At least someone understood how Starbucks works.

Alice was literally vibrating with excitement when I sat down between them. "Oh my god, Bella, I had this crazy dream last night and it had my whole vision for the wedding! You guys will be in navy blue and the guys will wear light grey suits and we'll have white and pale pink flowers and it's going to be amazing! And we're going to have a live string quartet and lots of candles and it'll be at the country club, obviously."

I sometimes liked to hold my breath while Alice talked, just to test my lung capacity. I had to take a breath before she did this time. "Hi Alice, nice to see you too. Can I have some coffee before I have to tape your mouth shut?" I asked her, lovingly. She knew I was joking. We had always had that kind of relationship.

Alice and I had been randomly placed together as roommates in our first year of college. I remember walking in the door of our dorm room for the first time and seeing a dark flash out of the corner of my eye before something tiny and loud attached itself to me. She had introduced herself as Alice and had insisted we would be best friends. And we had been ever since. Her energy and never ending happiness did well to balance out my sarcasm and occasional pessimism.

Rose rolled her eyes at us, her freshly manicured nails tapping the side of her coffee mug. "Thank god, I thought I was going to have to put a muzzle on her," Rosalie sighed. I giggled at her and winked, as she returned my grin. Rose sometimes came off as a bit of a bitch, but it was mostly protection from her line of work. It was tough to face rejection and judgment nearly every day of the week, despite looking like she did.

Rose was almost 6' tall in bare feet and had the figure of a Victoria's Secret model. She'd met us in undergrad while completing her degree in mechanical engineering, one of only three girls in her class. She'd been discovered as a model while she was helping out at the mechanic shop on campus, and an agent had brought his car in to have some work done. He'd apparently made some sexists comments about her working on his car, and she'd thrown a wrench at his head. He'd signed her on the spot. Over the past two years, Rose had travelled all over the world on shoots, and walked the runway for several top designers, saving every penny she made to pay for her master's degree. We were just thrilled that she was home.

"So is there anything else you want to discuss for the wedding, or would you like to hear about how I flashed a guy yesterday?" I asked, knowing Alice's response.

"You did what?!" she screeched. A few other patrons looked at us, but I ignored them. Rose just laughed and waited for me to continue.

I explained to them about meeting Edward at the bookstore and him rescuing me and driving me back to my apartment. "Actually, that reminds me, can one of you give me a ride to Chapters after this to pick up my truck?" Alice volunteered, since it was on her way home.

"So, how hot was this guy? Are we talking like Jensen Ackles in Supernatural, boy-next-door hot, or Chris Evans as Captain America, super-mega-awesome hot?" asked Rosalie.

I laughed, trying to think of an accurate comparison. "He was a little geeky, like Zachary Levi, I mean he was wearing a Batman t-shirt for fuck sakes. But he was built like Alexander Skarsgard," I finished with a smirk, cause that shit was hot. "And, dude, the hair...there are no words." I still couldn't get his hair out of my head. I wanted to french braid it just to be able to run it through my fingers.

"Sounds hot," Rosalie commented.

I laughed, because that was the understatement of the century. "Uh, yeah, you could say that."

"So when are you going to see him again?" Alice asked.

"He gave me his number, but I haven't called yet," I admitted.

"Well what are you waiting for? Give me that." She grabbed my phone off the table and dialed his number, which I had programmed in as soon as he'd left the day before. She put it on speaker, and started bouncing in her seat while we listened to it ring.

It rang about four times before an automated voice came on. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

"What the fuck?!" I yelled loudly, earning more glares from the other customers. "Did he seriously fake number me?" I was pissed.

"What an asshole. Just forget him Bella, obviously not worth your time," consoled Rose.

"Are you sure you put his number in right? I mean, from what you said, he seemed to have fun yesterday..." Alice tried to rationalize.

"Yes, I'm sure I typed it in right. What a douchebag." This was kind of embarrassing and a whole lot aggravating. Whatever, I was going to take Rose's advice and forget the guy ever existed.

"Just forget it, Alice. Let's get back to your wedding." That effectively changed the subject, and we spent the rest of the morning planning our next bridal shopping adventure.

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><p>Tuesday eventually rolled around, and I was forced to return to the gym after work. I had done my best to volunteer for extra projects at the high school where I worked to avoid my training session, but for some reason no one seemed to think that the school counsellor should be coaching varsity football or cleaning the cafeteria with the janitor. I dragged my ass through the door, and gave my trainer, Emmett, a brief wave through the office door as I went to change. I threw on my god awful sports bra and some workout pants with a baggy t-shirt. I was definitely not one of those people who worked out in Lycra and spandex. That shit was not flattering.<p>

I shuffled out and found Emmett, groaning as I saw the equipment he had pulled out. I hated kettle bells.

"Aww, come on, B, you know you're excited to see me!" It was a good thing I like Emmett so much, or I would probably have punched him. Although it would most definitely have broken my hand.

_I'm pretty sure that guy is made of solid metal._

Tell me about it.

"Hey, Emmett. Listen, I threw my back out on the weekend, so go easy on me, okay?"

"No excuses, B. No pain, no gain, remember?" Emmett laughed at the expression on my face. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.

_You could probably take him out if you kneed him in the balls and poked him in the eye..._

Clearly the self-defense classes Charlie had forced me to take had paid off.

"Fine," I muttered, as I stepped up to the equipment. Emmett was used to my cranky attitude toward working out, and for some reason he seemed to think it was hilarious.

"Yes! Come on, push it out, B! Harder, let's go!" he yelled at me as I tried to finish my reps.

"Jesus, Emmett, we're not fucking! Tone it down a little," I spat back at him. He howled with laughter.

"Like you could handle me, B! And if you can still talk, you're not working hard enough." That logic didn't particularly make sense to me, but I wasn't about to argue with someone who could make my life a living hell three hours a week.

I finished out the hour dripping in sweat, laying on a mat after my final set of crunches. I think he waited to do abs last just so I was already horizontal when I inevitably collapsed. Evil bastard.

"B, that was wicked! You worked your ass off!" he praised me with a wide smile.

I really couldn't help but smile back, it was kind of infectious. "Thanks Em. Now fuck off and let me die."

"Oh, Bella, always the lady! And I absolutely would, but I wanted to invite you to the open house we're having on Friday. I'm trying to recruit new members, so bring your friends."

That didn't sound like the best way to spend a Friday night.

"There will be an open bar..."

"I'm in!" I interrupted him. Hell, I wasn't going to turn down free booze, even if it did mean spending more time in this god forsaken place.

"Sweet! I'll see you then. Doors open at 8." He pulled me off the mat, and smacked my ass as he walked away.

"Fuck off, Emmett!" I yelled at his retreating back, with a smile. Damn, that was going to leave a mark.

I texted Alice and Rose once I got home to invite them on Friday. No way in hell I was going to that on my own. And I kind of wanted to see if Emmett would try to hit on Rosalie. That shit would be hilarious.

They both agreed at the mention of free drinks, and Alice suggested we all stay at her place after so we could make an early start for dress shopping the next day. I agreed, and suggested Alice bring her fiancé, Jasper, too. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks, which was surprising since he lived with Alice and was Rose's brother.

I got changed out of my gross gym gear, had a quick dinner and went to bed early, feeling exhausted and sore. I fell asleep that night to visions of green eyes and messy hair...and me punching him in his pretty face.

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><p><strong>I was going to say reviews stop me from punching Edward in his pretty face, but let's be honest. That would never happen. But reviews are still amaze-balls!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I think it's about time everyone met, don't you? Here we go!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters, names, etc. belong to their owners.**

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><p>Chapter 5 – EPOV<p>

The rest of the week had been chaotic, to say the least. I had immediately called and changed my phone number on Saturday night after receiving several more texts from my psychotic ex-girlfriend. She was one of the main reasons I had left LA and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how she'd tracked me down, yet again. That girl was crazy, with capital C.

I realized halfway through Wednesday that Bella had my old phone number and I instantly felt like an ass. Half of me was hoping that she hadn't called, so that she wouldn't think I gave her the wrong number on purpose, but the other half hoped she had since that would mean she had enjoyed our unconventional meeting as much as I had. I planned to stop by her house later in the week to apologize and give her my new phone number, but between contacting distributors and looking at properties, I just didn't have time.

By Friday night, I could barely see straight, I was so exhausted. I struggled to open the apartment door, my hands full of catalogues and real estate listings. I walked in and found Emmett dressed up, hair styled with gel or some other shit, and an impatient look on his face.

"Dude, where the hell have you been? We need to get going! People are going to be showing up soon and we need to get the bar set up."

I seriously considered begging off going to the open house, but I knew how important this was to my brother. Plus I could seriously use a drink, or three.

"I know, Em, sorry. Give me 10 minutes to get changed and we can leave." I dropped my papers in a heap on the desk in the office and went into my room to change. At least I wouldn't have to wear a damn suit. I threw on my favourite, broken in jeans and one of my random graphic t-shirts, grabbing a plaid button down to go overtop at the last minute. I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. My eyes felt sort of like sandpaper, so I took out my contacts and switched to my glasses. I looked in the mirror, debating whether it was worth attempting to tame my hair. Realizing Emmett was in a rush, I figured there wasn't much point. It was usually a lost cause anyway, especially when it got this long.

I headed to the door, slid on my old Chucks and grabbed my leather jacket. Emmett already had the door open. "Come on, we'll take my jeep." I agreed without much of a fight, really not wanting to have to drive home later.

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><p>By 8:30, the gym was surprisingly packed. I looked around from my spot beside the makeshift bar and spotted Emmett off to the side, chatting with some tall dude with blonde hair. My parents were schmoozing with some of the older couples who were checking out the facilities. Most of the people, though, seemed to be around my age and as suspected, 90% of them were gym rats. Not even three rye and gingers could make these girls look any less plastic.<p>

Needing to get away from the ridiculous dance music and leering looks I was getting from a few of the chicks, I grabbed another drink and headed to the back room where the free weights were currently being stored while the party was happening.

My mind had been returning to Bella a lot over the past few days. I still felt awful about the phone number. I was determined to go to her house the next day to apologize.

I walked into the other room, taking a sip of my drink and nearly spit it out all over the floor. I'd recognize that ass anywhere. There, in the middle of the room, in a position very similar to the one she'd been in when we first met, was Bella. She seemed to be attempting to lift one of the kettle bells but was laughing too hard to have much success. She must have heard my footsteps because as soon as I entered the room, her eyes shot to mine and her laughter instantly stopped. This wasn't good.

She let go of the kettle bell and stood up to face me, her hair flipping over her head. It was even nicer now that it was out of that bun.

"Well hi there, asshole," she scowled at me, and I noticed the two girls from the pictures in her house turn to look at me from the weight bench across the room where they were sitting.

"Umm, hey, listen, it's really not what you think..." I stammered, my gaze flicking back and forth between a very angry Bella and her somewhat amused looking friends. I backed up slowly as Bella started to walk toward me.

"Oh really? So you didn't give me a fake fucking number?"

"It wasn't fake, it actually was my number at the time..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Damn, she was mad.

I wasn't sure how best to explain the situation without completing scaring her away, or pissing her off worse than she already was. I decided getting it all out there while I had the chance was probably my best bet. "Uh, well, my psycho ex is kind of stalking me and she got a hold of my old number and started texting me so I had to change it, for like the tenth time, and I didn't realize I had given you my old one until halfway through this week and I swear I was going to stop by your house and give you my new one but I didn't have time since I've been really busy this week and I'm really sorry you're pissed off but I had a lot of fun on Saturday and I'm hoping I can still take you up on that rain check?" The last bit came out more like a question since I was completely out of breath. But also because Bella still looked like she was contemplating ripping off my nuts and playing soccer with them, and that made me more than a little nervous.

The room was utterly silent for about ten seconds. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella's friends smiling widely, attempting to hold back their laughter. I wasn't sure if it was directed at my ridiculous explanation, or at Bella's reaction to seeing me.

Suddenly, Bella let out a loud snort and smiled at me, her friends roaring with laughter in the background. "Well, shit, Edward, why didn't you just say so?" Thank god, she wasn't going to kill me...for now.

I smiled back at her, breathing an audible sigh of relief. "I really am sorry, Bella. If I'd realized it sooner, I would absolutely have come to see you."

"It's cool, really. Here, why don't I give you my number. I promise, I won't change it." She gave me a wink, holding out her hand for my phone, which I gladly gave her. She quickly programmed in her number and handed it back. "Come here, you can meet our audience," she said, gesturing to her friends who were now slightly more composed.

The tall blonde stood up, holding out her hand for me to shake. "Hey, Eddie, I'm Rosalie, but everyone calls me Rose. Bella was right, you do have sex hair."

I glanced at Bella to see her cheeks start to turn slightly pink in embarrassment at her friend's comment. Well fuck me, she was blushing. My smile got even wider.

The little brunette climbed up onto the weight bench and held her arms open. "Edward! We finally meet! I'm Alice." She stood there, expectantly, so I gave her a quick hug as I couldn't figure out what else she could possibly be waiting for. She squeezed me hard, before squealing and jumping off the bench. She ran to the doorway and launched herself at the blonde guy walking into the room, still talking to Emmett. He caught her easily, apparently used to small people attacking him without warning.

"Hey, Ali," he drawled in a slight southern accent, kissing her cheek.

"Jazz, look who we found!" she told him excitedly, pointing to me. What the hell kind of name was Jazz? We he some kind of musician or something?

He walked over, still carrying Alice, her legs wrapped around his waist. "Hey man, I'm Jasper, Alice's fiancé."

That made slightly more sense. "Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Edward. Emmett's brother."

"You're Emmett's brother?" I heard Bella question behind me.

Emmett stepped sideways around me to see who else was in the room. "B! You came!" My brother ran over and picked her up in a crushing hug. What the hell? How did he know her? I scowled at them, hearing Jasper snicker quietly from beside me.

"Relax, Ed, Bella is one of my clients," Emmett said, rolling his eyes at my reaction.

"Yeah, Emmett is a pain in my ass three days a week, literally," Bella continued, turning to my brother and punching him in the chest. "I had a fricking hand print shaped bruise on my ass after you smacked me on Tuesday!"

Emmett howled with laughter. "It's not my fault, B! Don't be such a smart ass all the time and I won't be forced to smack it."

Bella rolled her eyes, yet again. My brother was such an idiot. His laughter stopped, abruptly, when he caught sight of the other person in the room. He stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the leggy blonde. I should have known, she was completely his type.

He smiled crookedly at her, a Cullen trait I've been told since it's the same smile that both my dad and I have. And I knew from experience how effective it was with women. She raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't otherwise move as he sat next to her on the bench. "And who might you be?" he asked, obviously trying to sound seductive.

"I would be way out of your league," she replied, standing up and walking to the rest of us. "Come on, ladies, I need another drink." She grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her toward the bar, Alice jumping down from Jasper and following behind.

Emmett came up to stand beside Jasper and I, none of us saying a word as we watched them walk away.

Jasper looked at both of our faces and laughed, clapping us both on the back. "Welcome to the club, boys."

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><p><strong>Reviews get to join the club. We have a secret handshake, even if Edward thinks it's lame.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you everyone who had reviewed so far. Your words of encouragement are much appreciated :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters, names, etc. are property of their owners.**

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><p>6 – BPOV<p>

Rosalie dragged me to the bar, Alice hot on our heels, and ordered three shots of tequila. The bartender slid them to us, and I went to grab one, assuming we were toasting something or other, but Rose slapped my hand away and downed two of the shots, one right after the other. I looked up at her wide eyed. That was not a good sign. Rose could hold her liquor, but tequila was no one's friend.

She had a look of absolute terror on her face as she met my gaze.

"Rose, sweetie, what's wrong?" Alice soothed, rubbing Rose's arm.

"I'm so fucked." Rose grabbed the third shot and threw it back, the lime and salt untouched beside the now empty shot glasses.

"Well, would you mind explaining why before that alcohol hits you and you can no longer form a coherent sentence?" I pushed, curious as to what had sparked this freak out from the usually composed Rosalie.

"That guy..." she trailed off, glancing over my shoulder toward where Edward, Emmett and Jasper were standing.

"Which one, Edward? Yeah I mean he was kind of a jerk, but obviously it was a misunderstanding..."

She interrupted me, shaking her head slightly. "No, the big one."

"Emmett?" Alice clarified.

"Yeah...I'm pretty sure he's going to ruin my life."

"What the hell are you talking about? You just met him! And he's actually a nice guy if you can get passed his jackassery." I mean, he wasn't my type, but there was nothing wrong with Emmett per say. I just didn't tend to go for guys who could squash me like a bug.

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is. That's half the problem. He's a nice guy, he's built like fucking Thor and I'm pretty sure I want to lick those dimples."

I laughed loudly at the irony. Rose liked the guy! And Rosalie Hale did not _like_ anyone of the opposite sex. Men frequently threw themselves at her feet for just a moment of her attention; they chased her across Europe for a glance in their direction; they certainly never left her speechless in return.

"What am I going to do?" she asked, desperately. "I have no idea how to _like_ someone. I usually just let them follow me around for a while until I get bored, and then leave the country. That's not going to happen this time! I'm stuck here for the next two years! What if he wants to go on a date?! Like a real date, with flowers and he picks me up and we hold hands at the movies or some shit? I can't deal with that!"

"Rose, you need to breathe. You're going to pass out, and not from the booze." It wasn't often Alice was the voice of calm in a situation. It was slightly unnerving.

The panic eased on Rose's face as she took some deep, calming breaths. She closed her eyes and attempted to compose herself. I saw her shoulders start to relax and she opened her eyes, only to let out a high pitched "Eeep!" as she looked behind me.

I turned around, not surprised to see the three guys sidling up to us at the bar. I smiled widely as Edward came to stand beside me.

"Still no drink? What have you three been doing over here?" he asked, smiling back at me.

"Oh, you know, just discussing the relative benefits of chunky versus smooth peanut butter."

"And did you come to any conclusions?" He cocked his head slightly and leaned into the bar.

"Personally, I'm on the smooth side. Have you ever tried to spread that crunchy stuff? It's like spackle mixed with gravel. Peanut butter that leaves holes in my Wonder bread completely ruins the integrity of a PB&J."

He laughed loudly and waved the bartender over to where we were standing. "Well, I'll keep that in mind next time I have to pack you a lunch. Do you have similar strong viewpoints on your drinks? I'm a little afraid to order you anything in case it ruins your _integrity_."

"Oh no, I'm pretty open to anything when it comes to liquor. Coffee, on the other hand, I may never let you order for me. Can't believe you didn't even know what a pumpkin spice latte was."

"Well, I'm sure you can improve my apparent lacking knowledge of caffeinated beverages. We'll take two rye and gingers, please," Edward requested, turning to the bartender who quickly filled our order.

I sipped the drink slowly through the straw and turned to check on my friends. Alice had her legs once again wrapped around Jasper's waist, and they were forehead to forehead, engaged in a silent conversation.

"Are they always like that?" Edward whispered in my ear, gesturing toward the couple with his drink.

"Yeah, you get used to it after a while. Believe me, it freaked us all out the first time. They hadn't even been introduced to each other yet. Alice just saw him across the room, took a flying leap, and luckily he caught her. That was six years ago, and they've been together ever since."

He chuckled softly next to me. "She seems like a bit of a handful."

"Yeah, she can be overwhelming, "I admitted. "But she's my best friend and I love her. If I didn't, I probably would've beaten her to death with her designer purse by now, just to get her to shut up."

"And what about blondie, over there. She seems to be giving my brother a run for his money." Emmett was leaning up against Rosalie at the bar, one arm wrapped behind her and a wide smile on his face while he chatted away.

Rose wasn't saying anything in return and had a scowl on her face, clearly not comfortable with his proximity. I knew this shit was going to be funny, but I had no idea Rose would react quite like this to meeting Emmett.

"I can honestly say, I've never seen Rose act this this around a man before. But I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

Edward looked at me, skeptical. "Well, Emmett is pretty persistent once he sets his mind on something, so I hope she knows what she's in for."

I turned back to face Edward. "And what about you? Are you as persistent as your brother?" I smiled at him around my straw.

He just gave me that crooked smile that did unfortunate things to my underwear and took a sip of his drink. I somehow got the impression that Edward rarely backed down from a challenge.

"Come on, let's dance." Edward pulled me into the middle of the dance party that had broken out in the gym.

"Uhh, wait, Edward, I don't dance!" I tried to pull away, really not wanting to make a fool of myself in front of a bunch of strangers, but Edward just laughed, keeping a grip on my hand.

"Bella, I'm wearing nerd glasses and a Zelda t-shirt. Do you really think I have any sense of rhythm?" He proceeded to break into the most awkward Running Man I'd ever seen.

I thought I was going to piss myself laughing, but he just grinned back and started doing the Robot.

_You going to let him show you up like this? You did not spend an entire summer learning the choreography to Everybody by the Backstreet Boys to lose a dance-off in the middle of a gym._

For once, the voice in my head actually made sense. Although that may have had something to do with the alcohol. Rather than question it, I decided not to leave Edward hanging. I stuck one arm out, put the other behind my head and rocked out The Sprinkler.

I could hear Edward laughing over the music. "Oh, you like that? Try this one!" I challenged him, starting my lawnmower and waving to the invisible neighbours. Edward responded with The Shopping Cart, reading the label on the can of food he threw in his invisible shopping cart.

Suddenly Emmett burst into the crowd and laid down on his stomach in the middle of the floor. He started spastically rocking back and forth, and I looked at him confused.

"Em, what the fuck are you doing?" Edward asked, obviously not understanding the apparent seizure his brother was having either.

"I was trying to do the worm, bro," Emmett answered, a bit sadly. He glanced around, spotting Rosalie who was watching him from the crowd, a look of disgust on her face. "Rosie, come help me up!" He reached an arm out to her, and she turned on her heel and stumbled away, wobbling slightly on her 4" heels.

"And on that note, we should probably head out before you have a passed out blonde on your hands." I grabbed Jasper, since Alice was still attached to him, and we headed to the door.

I felt Edward come up behind me, placing his hand on my lower back. "I had a blast tonight, Bella. Please tell me we can do it again?"

"You've got my number, Baryshnikov. Give me a call. I'm pretty sure I don't have any stalkers currently, so like I said before, I won't be changing it," I teased him with a wink.

"I'm going to hold you to that. And besides, I know where you live..."

"Maybe I should amend that stalker statement." He laughed again and waved from the door as we left the gym, heading to Jasper's truck. I helped Rose into the back seat and buckled us both in, smiling at Alice over the seat back as Jasper drove us back to their condo.

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><p>I woke Saturday morning to my phone beeping beside me. I groaned and rolled over as Rosalie kneed me in the back.<p>

"God, make it stop," she moaned and flopped to the other side of the bed we were sharing in the guest room.

I chuckled, not surprised she had a wicked hangover. Tequila was a bitch. I picked up my phone and opened the text message, not recognizing the number, but guessing who it might have been.

**Hey, it's Edward, in case you hadn't figured it out. Sorry if I woke you up but just wanted to send you my number. Hope this doesn't increase my stalker status :)****- E**

I smiled as I typed out a reply.

_Don't worry, I haven't called the authorities yet. Although if you start showing up unannounced at my place of work, I may be forced to file a restraining order. Have I mentioned my dad is a cop? – B_

His reply came almost instantly.

**Does that mean he carries a gun? I promise, I'll keep my distance! Besides, I would hate for you to have to do that. I know how shitty the paperwork can be. – E**

_I can't say I have any experience with it, personally, but I'll take your word for it. Paperwork and I aren't friends on the best of days, let alone when I'm being followed by a nerdy, dancing stalker ;) – B_

**I promise not to inflict any more of my nerdy dance moves on you. Anyway, I'm off to do some work. Enjoy your day! And try to avoid breaking out into any spontaneous dancing. I wouldn't want you to threaten the general public with bodily injury. – E**

_Have a nice day, jackass :)__- B_

I saved his number over the old one from the previous weekend, and crawled out of bed, careful not to disturb the once again sleeping Rosalie. A hung over Rose was arguably worse than me without caffeine, and I did not want to deal with that at the moment.

Luckily Alice knew me well and was holding out a mug of steaming coffee when I entered the kitchen.

"There had better be some Bailey's in this if you still expect me to try on dresses," I muttered.

"Of course. God knows I wouldn't want to deal with you sober in a bridal store." Alice huffed before smiling at me behind her mug of tea. "So, now that you're up, I've mapped out the six stores that I want us to try for bridesmaid dresses. I've marked the best restaurants in the area so we can stop and get lunch eventually. Did you bring a strapless bra? If not we should probably stop and grab one from your house. And heels too, I need to see the length of the dresses. How do you feel about one shoulder?"

I grabbed the map out of her hand that she was waving in my face and slapped it over her mouth. "Ali, I love you with all my heart, but it you don't shut up immediately I will shove this map down your throat."

"Sorry," she replied, not sounding very apologetic. "I'm just so excited for this, and we only have 8 months until the wedding!"

"I know, but there is no possible way we are going to get to six stores today, especially with the hangover Rose is sporting at the moment. Why don't you narrow it down to your top two and we'll do the rest another day."

Alice flopped into a chair and sighed, obviously not happy with having to compromise. "Three stores, and you've got a deal."

"Fine, but we get a break in between. I will probably need to refuel my buzz after lunch."

Alice nodded and ran off to get dressed and presumably wake up Rose.

_I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole at the moment._

No kidding. Alice can take one for the team for subjecting us to this torture today.

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><p>Several hours later, we left the second bridal store, Alice bouncing ahead of Rose and I, nattering on about the next appointment. "Oh my god, you guys, I know we're going to find the dresses as this store. I was actually my first choice, but I couldn't get an appointment until 2:00. It's in this new area of town and they have a super cool website and there were so many dresses I liked on there. I think we'll probably have time to grab lunch first, although I know I'm too excited to eat right now!"<p>

She kept going on with her back to us, and Rose turned to me, pulling her sunglasses down to the end of her nose. "If you hold her down, I'll slip her a sedative."

"Unless you've got a horse tranquilizer hidden in your purse, I really don't think it'll have much effect." My buzz was definitely fading. It was time for lunch.

We stopped at a little cafe on our way to the third store, and I had two pints of beer along with my burger and sweet potato fries. It may not have been the best option before trying on formal gowns, but whatever. It's not like I wasn't going to eat at the wedding, so I may as well see what the dresses looked like with a food baby. I was starting to feel nicely warm after the drinks and was more relaxed as we walked in for our appointment.

Alice started rushing around, pulling dress after dress off the racks. It was a good thing she knew what she was looking for since I had no clue how to even navigate the store, let alone find a specific fabric or cut or whatever the hell it was she was looking for.

I was shoved into a dressing room next to Rose as Alice stuck several dresses on hangers through the curtain to me. "Try the V-neck first, Bella, and Rose you try strapless, I want to compare."

We both exited the dressing room at the same time, and I couldn't hold back my laugh as I looked at Rose. She still had her sunglasses on, apparently not getting over her hangover anytime soon and the dress she had tried on was about six inches too short for her tall frame. She looked ridiculous. Well, as ridiculous as a super model could look, but still definitely not her best.

"Yeah, you don't look so hot there yourself, Boobs McGee," Rose said, gesturing at my chest. The dress was a bit tight and had squished my chest sufficiently so that I now had four boobs instead of two.

"Ugh, clearly no," Alice said, pushing us back into the change rooms. "Bella, you try the two strap next, and Rose, I think there's a halter in the ones I gave you."

Those dresses were equally awful. I had no idea what Alice was thinking with the halter dress. I was pretty sure she didn't want her bridesmaids to look like linebackers. And the two strap one was far too conservative for either of us. It may as well have had long sleeves and a turtleneck.

"Okay, there's a one strap in there for both of you. This'll be the last one," Alice promised.

As soon as I slipped it on, I felt more comfortable than I had in any of the other dresses we'd tried to far. It was floor length and made of a light material that swished nicely when I walked. The one strap tied at the shoulder, and the ends draped down the back of the dress, almost to the floor. It was elegant, and dramatic, and I really hoped Rose didn't completely show me up in it.

We walked out in front of the mirrors together, and Alice clapped her hands and squealed from her chair. "Oh my gosh, you both look beautiful!" I looked in the mirror, and was a little taken aback. I actually looked damn good, even compared to Rose. Obviously she had the height and the long length of the dress made her look particularly statuesque. But the navy colour suited my pale skin and it hugged my curves nicely. "Do you love it? I love it. Please say you love it!" Alice was doing her vibrating thing again, waiting for our reply.

"I love it, Al," I stated, honestly.

"Me too," Rose added, even taking off her sunglasses. She elbowed me in the ribs. "Damn, we clean up nice!" I really had to agree.

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><p><strong>Reviews are better than peanut butter.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow, I can't thank you guys** **enough for the response I've had to far! I still can't quite believe this many people are reading my silly little story. A big shout out to Tarbecca at ADF for recommending Games On Tap in the Fic Dive.**

**Sorry it took so long to post this next chapter. I'm hoping it won't take so long for the next one. This is the longest chapter so far, so hopefully that'll make up for the delay a little bit! Enjoy!**

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><p>Ch 7 – EPOV<p>

I took a final look around the empty store; it was as perfect as I thought it would be. The far wall would be lined with shelves, I would put booths along the one side, with the bar opposite and a stage in one corner. There was plenty of room for 4- and 6-seater tables in between, with a few 2-seaters in the front window. And there was a back kitchen area in case we decided to serve food at some point. I sighed, and Emmett threw his arm around my shoulders.

"I know, buddy, it would be fucking awesome. You sure you can't make it work?"

I knew for a fact it was way out of my budget. "Unless I plan to sell my organs on the black market, I think it's a lost cause."

"I bet dad would be more than happy to help out..."

"No!" I interrupted, probably a little more abruptly than necessary. "I mean I know he'd help me out, Em. Shit, he offered again last night. But I _need_ to do this on my own."

He nodded, knowing I was resigned to my decision. We had had this discussion multiple times already. If I was going to do this, it was going to be all me. I silently waved good bye to my dream location and followed him out the door, turning to thank the real estate agent, Paul, as we reached the sidewalk.

"You know, I'm really starting to consider that restraining order." I recognized that voice. The felt goosebumps on my arms and I grinned as I spun around.

"I don't know, maybe you're the one following me. Don't you have other friends? Or an Exhibitionists Anonymous group you should be attending?"

Bella stood in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest. She was pushing her boobs up to somewhere around her neck area. "Eyes up here, pal," she said, gesturing with two fingers to her face.

"Hey, you're the one who flashed me. Can't blame a guy for looking!"

"Whatever, they're not even my best asset." Bella moved her hands to her hips and jutted one out slightly. I definitely knew what I thought her best asset was.

"And what, pray tell, would that be?"

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, giving me a bright smile. "Why, my winning personality, obviously! Well, that and the fact that I have an ass that won't quit."

I laughed as she started to back that shit up into Rose, who was looking a little panicked next to my brother. Emmett wasn't even trying to hide the ridiculous smile he had on his face.

"So what are you two doing here?" asked Alice. "I didn't think there was much else open on this street yet, besides the bridal store."

"Actually, we were looking at properties for my new bar."

That snapped Emmett out of his Rosalie-induced stupor. "Oh man, Eddie is opening this sweet new bar called Games On Tap. It's going to have a whole bunch of board games you can play while you drink. And there's going to be a karaoke night once a week, and I'm trying to convince him to serve food, 'cause LGBTs are the best drunk food ever..."

Bella help up a hand to stop his rant. "I'm sorry, did you just say LGBTs?" Yeah, I had no idea what that shit was either. "What the hell is that, a lettuce, glitter, bacon and tomato sandwich?"

Alice and I burst out laughing, and Emmett just looked confused. "Uh, no, you know the one with toast and mayo and bacon and lettuce and...tomato..."

"A BLT," Rose offered, quietly.

"That's the one! See, I knew you'd understand me, babe." The look of terror returned to Rosalie's face.

I shook my head at Emmett. "So anyway, yeah I don't know about the food yet since I can't cook worth shit. But this was kind of my dream location. It's too bad the rent is so crazy. I'm going to have to look a little further away from downtown."

"Why don't you get an investor or something?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, you know Jasper has actually be considering opening his own restaurant. He's wasting his talent as a line cook and his current boss is a complete asshole. We've been saving some money for a start-up for a while. You should talk to him!" Alice pulled out her phone and started texting.

It wasn't the worst idea I'd ever heard. It wouldn't exactly be taking a hand-out. We could be partners. I mean, I didn't know the first thing about the guy – I think we'd said all of three words to each other the other night. But if Bella trusted him, he couldn't be a complete psycho. "Hold on, Alice. Slow down. I would definitely consider it, but I just met all of you. You really think it would be smart to jump into such a huge business decision?"

Alice huffed and stopped texting, obviously not agreeing with my reluctance.

"Why don't you all come over for a games night this week, and we can talk about it a bit more." I could talk to Jasper directly, and it would give me an excuse to see Bella.

Rosalie raised her eyebrow at my suggestion. "What, are we going to play Dungeons and Dragons or something? I am really not into role playing games."

The look of disappointment on Emmett's face with fucking hilarious. Rose must have thought so too because she actually cracked a smile. "Not even, like, naughty school girl and angry teacher?" he asked. He sounded like someone had just told him that Santa wasn't real.

"Uhh, that wasn't...I mean I guess...uhh..." Rosalie was slowly turning the colour of the tomato in Emmett's LGBT.

Luckily, Bella decided to take pity on her increasingly awkward friend. "Okay, we're going to go before you break Rose. When do you want us to come by?"

"Friday at 7? Does that work? We can order pizza or whatever."

"Sounds good. Text me your address, and I'll make sure everyone gets there. Including Big Red." She grabbed Rosalie's hand and pulled her down the sidewalk. "I'll bring beer," she called over her shoulder.

"And you'll be doing extra squats on Thursday to keep up your _ass_-ets!" Emmett call behind her. Bella flipped him off over her shoulder as they walked away.

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><p>Emmett was blasting some crappy rap music with the bass turned way up on our drive back to the apartment. I had to remind him multiple times to keep his hands on the wheel instead of throwing up hand gestures as he attempted to sing along. Although I guess technically he wasn't singing...rhythmically talk along? Whatever it was, it was fucking awful. And I'm not sure why he kept insisting we were going to the "West Si-eeeed". We lived in the south end of the city.<p>

By the time we got home, I had a wicked headache. My hair was turning into a full-on afro from running my hands through it. Even Emmett had noticed.

"Dude, you gotta get a haircut. Unless you want me to start sculpting it in your sleep like a Chia pet or something, 'cause I'd be down for that."

"Why don't you go sculpt your own man-bush instead of worrying about my hair." I slammed my bedroom door shut, desperately needing some peace and quiet. I looked into my mirror as I rubbed my temples. Damn, he was right. The hair was getting ridiculous.

I broke out into a cold sweat as I flashed back to the last haircut I'd had.

_Blonde hair...red finger nails massaging my scalp...and then screaming...one missing eyebrow..._

Fuck, no. That wasn't happening. Maybe I'd just shave it all off again. Hadn't been my best look, but at least it had gotten Tanya off my back for a little while.

Tanya was my psycho ex who had a, shall we say, unhealthy obsession with my hair. We'd met at a random hair salon I'd stopped in on my way home from work one night when I was still living in LA. She was the stylist assigned to me. We ended up going out a few times and she'd eventually convinced me to be a hair model for her portfolio, insisting I had "luxurious and other-wordly locks". I made have had a few drinks when I'd agreed to this...

Anyway, we dated for a month or two, and she grew increasingly attached to my hair. As in, she'd have full-blown conversations with it. We never actually had sex, thank god, but whenever we did anything even remotely sexual, she had to be touching my hair. I thought it was kind of weird at the time. I mean, there is literally no convenient way to have a girl go down on your while holding onto your hair at the same time. But whatever, she was pretty hot and I was getting free haircuts whenever I wanted them. Which was great, until the day she was prepping me for the damn photoshoot. According to her, she was so distracted by my "flowing coiffure" that the clippers slipped and took off a wide strip of hair down the side of my head and half of one eyebrow.

Tanya had started screaming bloody murder. I thought she'd chopped off some part of her anatomy from the sounds that were coming out of her mouth. But no, she'd just murdered my dignity. Knowing I didn't want to look like Cyndi Lauper until it grew out, I decided to just buzz the whole thing.

I may as well have massacred her entire family. She was sobbing on her hands and knees, trying to pry the clippers out of my hands, saying that she couldn't live with herself if I ruined my "copper heaven". It was disturbing.

I eventually got away from her, and stuck a band-aid over my eyebrow until it grew back. I'd tried to convince one of my buddies to punch me in the face, so at least I'd have a good excuse for the band-aid, but no one would take me up on the opportunity.

Tanya disappeared and I didn't hear from her for a few months...until my hair started to grow back. Then the text messages and phone calls and late night visits started up. I tried to let her down easy, I really did. But that chick was full on crazy. I avoided walking through her part of the city, just in case we ran into each other by accident; I changed my phone number; I even slept on my friend's couch for a week, but she always managed to track me down. I can still hear her nails scratching on the door, moaning about needing a "hit" of my hair.

Eventually, I gave in and shaved it off again. And just like that, she disappeared. The third time it grew back, it was in the middle of winter, and even in LA I didn't want my head to get cold, so I just bleached the shit out of it. It wasn't a good look for me.

I moved back to Seattle shortly after that and got rid of the blonde. It was completely grown out now, and somehow Tanya had found out. Maybe this time I'd go for corn rows. I could join Emmett is his burgeoning rap career. MC EC...Quik Eddie C...Big E Dog. I could go by Big ED for short. No, wait, didn't ED stand for erectile dysfunction? That probably wouldn't help my game too much. Okay, so maybe not corn rows

I couldn't deal with this shit right now. My headache hadn't subsided at all, so I popped a couple Aspirin and fell into bed for a nap.

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><p>Friday night came around faster than I had expected. My week had been filled with planning meetings and potential site visits, none of which had been very productive. I spent hours on end scouring the internet for property rentals, but none could come close to the one I actually wanted. I was getting more and more desperate. If things didn't go well with Jasper, I would have to seriously considering taking my dad up on his offer to help.<p>

I spent all of Friday afternoon cleaning the apartment before our guests arrived. Emmett had caught me mopping the kitchen floor, the front of my hair pulled into a ponytail thing on the top of my head so it wouldn't get in my eyes. He'd since taken to calling me every girl's name he could think of.

"Becky, where'd you put the salsa we got the other day?" Emmett had his head stuck in the fridge, searching for snack food. He already had three bags of chips on the counter.

"Dammit, Em, if you make a mess in the kitchen I just cleaned, I swear you will be cleaning it up with your toothbrush!"

"Chill, Sally. I was just getting things ready for later. Man can't live on pizza and beer alone!"

The knock on the door stopped me from yelling at him some more. I opened the apartment door and was met by a smiling Bella and Jasper, Alice's head peaking over his shoulder from where she was perched his back, and a rather reluctant-looking Rosalie holding two six-packs of beer.

"You know, Edward, the Flock of Seagulls look went out in the 80s." Bella ruffled my hair as she walked past me into the apartment.

"Uh, yeah, I know, I was going for a mullet but realized I didn't really need the business side so now it's all party all the time." I took the beer from Rosalie and ushered them all in. Alice jumped down from Jasper and immediately started giving herself a tour of the apartment.

"Hey, man. Nice to see you again," Jasper said to me as we shook hands.

"Yeah, you too. So, did Alice talk to you about the project I'm working on?" _Subtle, Edward, real subtle._

"You could say that," he replied, chuckling. "It's basically all she's talked about since she ran into you guys the other day."

I laughed, not particularly surprised. Alice seemed rather enthusiastic about everything she did. "Cool, well if it's something you're interested in considering, maybe we could set up a meeting with just us to discuss my ideas?"

"Sounds good. We can set something up before we head out tonight."

Thank god he was considering it. Maybe my dream bar wasn't as out of reach as I had originally thought. "Excellent. So, can I get you a beer?"

"Absolutely. What's the plan for tonight, anyway?"

I opened two beers and handed one to Jasper. "Have you heard of Cards Against Humanity?" Jasper shook his head as he took a swig. "It's an extremely inappropriate card game, but it's a lot of fun. Thought it would give us all a chance to get to know one another a bit more."

"Yeah, and Cindy here wants to know if you share his sick and twisted sense of humor," interrupted Emmett, walking over to grab a beer.

"Cindy?" Jasper asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cindy, Samantha, Rachel, Donna, I haven't totally decided yet. All I know is he needs a chick name to go with this chick hair."

"Yeah, it's pretty long," said Alice, having rejoined the rest of us in the kitchen. She was wearing one of Emmett's football jerseys, which I was pretty sure he kept in the back of his closet. It was hanging well past her knees and she had the sleeves rolled up half a dozen times.

"Ali, what have we said about you playing dress-up at other people's houses?" Bella looked at Alice, patiently.

"Ask before raiding people's closets," Alice huffed in response. I got the impression this was not an uncommon occurrence.

"It's cool, short stuff," said Emmett, picking Alice up under one arm and setting her on one of the stools at the counter. "Looks better on you than it does on me anyway."

Alice grinned and grabbed the open beer Bella had in her hand. Bella scowled and tried to steal it back, but Alice slid off the stool and ran to hide behind Emmett and Jasper.

I opened another bottle and held it out to Bella. "Hey," I said with a smile, realizing I hadn't actually greeted her yet.

"Hey yourself. Did I hear talk of Cards Against Humanity for this evening?"

"You may have. You know the game?"

"Yeah, we played it last year at our work Christmas party. I may or may not be amazing at it."

I had no doubt she'd be good. From the few times I had spoken to Bella, I got the impression that she had a hilariously dirty mind, which was basically a pre-requisite for this game. "Hmm, well I'm pretty good at this, too. Maybe we should make a small wager."

"Oh, I never turn down a bet. What are your terms?"

"First person to get to four points wins. If I win, you go on a date with me."

Bella gave me a knowing smile. "Edward, if you wanted to go out with me, all you had to do is ask."

"Oh I know, I was going to do that anyway. But this is more fun."

"Okay, but if I win, you have to cut your hair."

I swallowed down the rising sense of panic. It was fine. There was no way I was going to lose. I basically had all the cards memorized.

"You have yourself a deal." I held out my hand and she shook it in confirmation.

"I can't wait to see you go down," she grinned at me.

"And I look forward to kicking your ass." I gave her butt a quick swat as I walked over to the shelf and grabbed the game box.

I got it set up at the dining table as Emmett called in the pizza order. Once everyone sat down, I explained the rules quickly. Everyone got ten white cards with various phrases on them, and then one person would pick a black card and everyone would play a white card from their hand that best matched the black card. Then whoever's turn it was to pick the black card would choose their favourite and that person would get a point. Sounded innocent until you realized that the cards said things like "My collection of high-tech sex toys" and "Lance Armstrong's missing testicle".

By the time the pizza arrived, Bella was up three points, I was up two, and Rosalie and Alice each had one. The best combo had been Bella playing "An Oedipus complex" on Emmett's "_. Kid tested, mother approved". Although I thought Emmett was going to choke on his beer when Rosalie read out the "Biggest, blackest cock" card.

"You're up, Elizabeth," said Emmett as he slid the stack of black cards toward me. I grabbed the top card and flipped it over. "_ + _ = _" Bella immediately started laughing hysterically.

"Guys, it's over. I think I just won the game." She immediately handed over her three cards and leaned back in her chair with a smug look on her face.

I waited a few minutes for everyone else to play their cards and started reading them out, purposely saving Bella's for last. I flipped them over, one at a time. "Spectacular abs + self loathing = another goddamn vampire movie."

Emmett threw his head back, laughing loudly. Rosalie was flopped over his lap, clutching her stomach from laughing so hard. Alice could barely get out that she was going to pee her pants between gasps of air before jumping up and running to the bathroom. Jasper was shaking with silent laughter as Bella stood up and dropped the rest of her cards on the table. "I'm out! Peace, bitches!" she announced, throwing her arms in the air and walking into the kitchen.

I followed her into the kitchen and held out my beer as she opened another bottle. She clinked her bottle to mine and winked as she chugged back half the bottle.

"Well, you weren't exaggerating when you said you dominated this game. I bow down to your superior card-playing skills." I gave her a low bow.

"So I guess you'll have to get your hair cut before we go on our date."

"Uh, Bella, I didn't win. There is no date."

"Sure there is! Well, unless you're turning me down, 'cause that's kind of awkward."

I smiled wider. "Bella, are you asking me out?"

"Yes, Edward, I am. And I promise I'll pick you up and bring you flowers and I'll have you home before you turn into a pumpkin."

I laughed and took a step closer to her. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I'm pretty easy." I gave her my crooked smile and her eyes flashed quickly to my mouth before meeting my eyes. God, I wanted to kiss her.

"Good thing I'm pretty easy, too." She grabbed my shirt, pulling me flush against her, and kissed me hard.

Damn, if this was how she reacted to winning, I would lose every bet to her for the rest of my life.

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><p><strong>If you haven't played<strong> **Cards Against Humanity, you need to check it out immediately. Reviews are (almost) better than an easy Edward.**


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